


The Lies That Kill Us

by toffeepeanut



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang Doesn’t Know the Difference Between Ambidextrous and Bisexual, Acceptance, Angst and Humor, Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, My First Work in This Fandom, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25416682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toffeepeanut/pseuds/toffeepeanut
Summary: An innocuous misunderstanding relieves Zuko of the shame that’s been weighing him down for years.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 116





	The Lies That Kill Us

**Author's Note:**

> (This fanfiction was inspired by miamitu’s comic, which you can view here: https://miamitu-illust.tumblr.com/post/623654807357587456/hes-a-little-confused-but-hes-got-the-spirit)

A month and a half had passed since the close of the Hundred Year War. 

Zuko had just begun his reign as Fire Lord and was finding that the responsibilities kept on piling up. They weren’t unexpected, considering the state his predecessors left the world in. The young noble knew he had his work cut out for him. 

It was overwhelming.

For Zuko, being able to take a break was uncommon. On those rare occasions that he did get a day to himself, though, he spent it with the people he cared about the most. 

No worries. No responsibilities. Just him, his friends, and his uncle, relaxing together in the Jasmine Dragon. 

Thankfully, it was one of those days.

Zuko was steeping tea for the others. Iroh would’ve been the one making it, but he was currently out retrieving supplies for the shop. Sure, it was Zuko’s day off and he could’ve waited until Iroh returned, but he insisted on providing the hot leaf beverage for his friends.

In the dining room, Sokka honed in on his latest project- a painting of him and his buddies. So far, he’d finished drawing himself, Zuko, Momo, Appa, and Aang, as well as the scenery. Toph and Suki lounged nearby and casually conversed.

Katara silently watched as Sokka gingerly touched up one of the mountains. Her brow furrowed as she noticed which hand he held his paintbrush in- the left one.

Aang soon joined in on observing Sokka, quietly chowing down a bowl of bean curd puffs as he did so.

“Say, Sokka, your painting looks...lovely. But since when were you  _left-handed?”_ Katara wondered.

Sokka ceased his brushing and glanced up at his younger sister. He chuckled, seemingly amused by her inquiry.

“You see, I’m  _actually_ ambidextrous.” Sokka explained.

Aang mindlessly gazed at Sokka’s artwork and didn’t pay much mind to what he and Katara were talking about until he fully processed what Sokka had said.

_ I’m actually ambidextrous. _

Aang’s head snapped up, his grey eyes like saucers as they settled on Sokka. His jaw slackened ever so slightly as a bewildered awareness overtook him.

_ Wait- Sokka likes women AND men? _

Aang’s face went from dumbfounded to delighted in an instant. 

“That’s  _great,_ Sokka! Love who you love!” he exclaimed gleefully.

Sokka turned towards Aang, his face devoid of any recognizable emotion.

“...What?” he asked.

Toph and Suki barely managed to stifle their laughter. 

Concurrently, Zuko had just finished making the tea and was now carrying it into the dining room on a tray. He stood there, frozen, as Aang’s words rattled around in his head.

_ Love who you love! _

It was nice, wasn’t it? The prospect of loving whoever you wanted, regardless of gender, and  not being scrutinized? 

Well...Zuko wasn’t entirely sure. A  proper relationship was between a man and a woman, right? Anything other than that was contemptible...at least, that’s what Ozai had taught him. 

And that’s what Zuko believed for the longest time.

A brief silence hung in the dining room. Aang looked to Sokka with earnest, whereas the former looked back at him with bafflement. 

“The air nomads said that love transcends our physical bodies. Men and women didn’t hide who they loved and were accepting of each other’s differences. They embraced  _everyone,_ regardless of their orientation.” Aang mentioned excitedly.

_ They embraced **everyone,** regardless of their orientation. _

During his hunt for the Avatar, Zuko had been through many different areas and seen a good amount of homosexual couples. Ultimately, these people loved each other and weren’t harming anybody by being themselves. It was an eye-opener for Zuko and showed him the normalcy of same-sex relationships. It helped him accept the fact that not everybody was straight. 

And yet, in a cruel twist of fate, the one person Zuko couldn’t accept was himself. He didn’t _want_ to believe that he was even the slightest bit attracted to men. He didn’t _want_ to believe that he wasn’t straight.  


Sure, Zuko was attracted to women and currently dating Mai. And sure, he truly did care for her and cherished the time they spent together. But his relationship with her didn’t make the way he felt about men go away, and he _hated_ it.

Zuko found himself recalling a particularly awful memory from his youth. He had a lot on his mind and needed someone to talk to, but his mother was gone, his uncle had gone missing, and Azula was...well, _Azula._ So he’d turned to his father in his time of need.

* * *

_“Father, could I ask you something?”_

_Ozai sighed exasperatedly._

_“What is it?”_

_Zuko wrung his hands anxiously._

_“Have you ever liked someone who...who w-wasn’t a girl? I mean, I don’t! I like girls! I just...I...is it normal for a boy to like another boy?” he wondered._

_“If you truly didn’t feel that way, then why even ask?” Ozai questioned, his voice eerily low._

_“I-I don’t know. I mean, I was just curious-“_

_“Fire Lord Sozin outlawed those kind of relationships for a reason, Zuko- because they’re **wrong.** And **anyone** who thinks otherwise or participates in such a vile act is a  **disgrace** to the Fire Nation.” Ozai growled._

_Zuko averted his eyes._

_“O-Okay.” he murmured._

_“Oh, and Zuko?”_

_“Yes, father?”_

_“If I **ever** catch you with another boy, I’ll strip you of your birthright and see to it that you  **never** set foot in the Fire Nation again. Do you understand?”_

_Zuko gulped._

_“Yes, father.”_

_“Good. I don’t need you being more of a disappointment to me than you already are.”_

* * *

Zuko felt a lump forming in his throat as he mentally drifted back into the present. He remembered how _tiny_ he felt under his father’s accusatory glare.  He remembered how ashamed and hurt and utterly  _disgusted_ he felt with himself.

The memory haunted Zuko for years.

However, he was in the presence of Aang now- a person who was so compassionate and accepting towards people like Zuko. It was both amusing and comforting to hear how supportive the young monk was in response to Sokka ‘coming out’ as ambidextrous. Sure, Aang was confused, but he had the right spirit.

Maybe, just maybe, he could accept Zuko too.

The young Fire Lord was suddenly aware of the warm tears that began cascading down his face. 

Aang continued speaking.

“You know, Monk Gyatso once told me-“

“That’s all  _very_ interesting, Aang, but that’s  _not_ what I was talking-“

“Zuko?!” Katara exclaimed.

The room fell silent once more as everybody turned to look at Zuko. His gaze settled on Katara, who’s expression was soft and worrisome.

“Why are you crying?” she asked gently.

Zuko sniffled and took a shaky breath. He looked to the floor as he mustered the strength to speak.

“So, I’m not a disgrace to the Fire Nation for liking men?” he asked, his voice hushed and tearful.

Sokka’s jaw dropped slightly as he gazed upon his distraught friend.

“Oh my god...” he muttered sadly.

“Of course not!” Katara cried out.

“Quick, he needs a hug!” Aang shouted. He hastily abandoned his bowl of bean curd puffs on the table with Sokka’s painting and ran over to Zuko.

Zuko placed the tray of tea he was holding on a nearby table and promptly crumpled to the ground, face in his hands as he began to sob. Aang kneeled down and pulled him into a comforting embrace, soon joined by the others. 

They had nothing but compassion towards Zuko.

“We’re here for you, buddy.”

“You’re not a disgrace.”

”We love you, Zuko!”

Boy, did he _cry._

But the tears Zuko shed weren’t born of sorrow or shame or self-loathing. No- it was because he could finally let those things go. All of those negative feelings were nothing but horrible, _wretched_ lies that were slowly killing him from the inside out.

Zuko could finally learn to accept himself.

And thankfully, he had friends who would help him do so. 

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter will be about Zuko coming out to Iroh. :)
> 
> I hope to get to it soon, though there may be a delay since my senior year of high school is about to start.
> 
> As always, constructive criticism is encouraged and appreciated~


End file.
